Spiritually Refreshed

I am spiritually refreshed today.

I should make it very clear how unusual a statement that is for me. A earlier entry on this very same blog, written mere months ago, says how I describe myself as more religious than spiritual and how I am OK with that.

But there can be no doubt. I am refreshed in a way that goes far beyond the physical. Let's see if I can explain it in some way that makes sense to you, the reader.

People talk about the spirit a lot here. I have generally listened, pondered and than tried to knock down the idea that I can have any meaningful contact with the spirit within me, let alone the Holy Spirit. It just simply has not been a part of my experience so why go to the trouble of trying if I am already a Christian?

But God has a way of putting things before you in a way you can't ignore. We are doing a unit in our ISOM (Christianity) Class called being Led in the Spirit. A recent lesson in the unit had tons of scriptures talking about the spirit and its role in our lives. If Scripture says it, I can't ignore it so it entered my head. Around this time too I was feeling just a bit sad too. Almost imperceptibly slow I felt like I was becoming more disconnected with the people around me. I felt like I wasn't measuring up, that I couldn't and therefore I was losing interest in trying.
It was a bit disconcerting.

Then last night I played a card game. I never play cards. It was really fun. I felt a lot better. I felt close to the people I played with. It was pretty heady stuff.

Then this morning we had a staff meeting. We have been watching a series by John Bevere mostly about why its so important to forgive rather than be offended. We got into some complicated heady stuff involving salvation which would be impossible to explain here but here's the thing. Rather than walking out confused or frustrated because I couldn't understand something I walked out refreshed. I was confident in my salvation but I knew I needed to pray.

So that's what I did. It was only a few minutes but I just sat down alone on the porch and talked to God for a few minutes. I can't properly retype here what I said but basically I realized I had been in the wrong in many ways and that I needed to let God's salvation refresh me. I hadn't lost salvation but I had disregarded its importance for a while. I had completely ignored any possibility of a spirit-filled life and I was being drained because of it.

I'm not sure what's next. I haven't started praying in tongues or doing mass-healings. But I do know that God is with me and I am willing to hear from him whether that be in a mental way or a spiritual way. Here's to the future.